Top 9 things parents should remember during the fair

9. The fair is one, just one, of the many things 4-H members do all year long. Don’t place the full worth of the program on one small part. (Meaning, don’t quit just because you didn’t win.)

8. They’re all blue ribbon kids; it’s the project that might need some work. Don’t base their value on the color of the ribbon.

Personal note: One year, I had a mom come up and ask why her 9-year-old didn’t win champion in their division. The scores and comments were all positive. “What did she do wrong and what can she do next year to win?,” the mom asked. I still remember the judge’s kind face when she replied, “At 9, let’s hope she still has a lot to learn.” And I smiled.

7. It’s one judge’s opinion on one day. If it goes your way, be a gracious winner; if it doesn’t, be graceful in your loss. Most judges are good and fair. Express any concerns about a judge’s skill to staff after the show and make recommendations for someone new next year. (There is nothing harder than finding qualified judges.) Your children will face unfair evaluation in the future; teach them how to respond instead of only how to win.

Another personal note: Livestock exhibitors know you can stand in first place one week and go to the next show and stand fourth. It’s just one person’s perspective on one day.

6. This isn’t the time to revive old rivalries that happened 30 years ago when you were making the county fair show circuit. Let it go, dude. Let this generation enjoy the special comradery that only happens in a show barn.

5. Enter your animals in the age category they belong, and teach your children that honesty is always best. Same goes for swapping ear tags or buying an animal after the ownership deadline. You can sleep at night knowing you’re giving your child the ethical foundation they’ll need the rest of their life. I don’t think winning champion barrow at a county fair ever changed anyone’s life, but following the rules will produce successful children every time.

4. Don’t argue over the rules; they’re there for a reason. Wear the helmet. Don’t wear flip flops. Get your Coggins test. Help on clean up day. Don’t ask for special exceptions to the rules unless it really is unavoidable. And, you forgetting to register is avoidable.

Personal note, again: I can point to every rule in the showbook and tell you the parent that made that rule necessary. Am I right? Rules exist to create a level playing field. Quit trying to bend the rules to favor your child.

Second personal note to make you smile: At my very first fair, an exhibitor used a doily under their cookies on their plate. They happened to get the top rating — based on their cookies, not their doily, but from then to eternity, the showbook read “Exhibit cookies on a plain white paper plate with no decorations.”

3. Everyone really is trying to get it all done correctly. No staff member intentionally messes up. No doubt when mistakes are made, (and they will be made) it’s because the hours have been long, the days hot, and the night’s sleep short. Just be kind.

2. Must we say it again… it’s just a ribbon, just a 25-cent ribbon. None of us are going to the Olympics based on this one contest. Sure, a few of you might get a couple extra bucks in the livestock auction if you place a little higher, but none of us are getting rich off one auction. Am I right?

1. You were friends before the fair; don’t say things that cost you that friendship after the fair.

You might think with all I’ve written that I think competition doesn’t matter. You’d be wrong. I’m a competitor from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes. I love winning. It’s just that in 40+ years of summer fairs, I’ve been yelled at, cussed out, talked about, threatened with jail, and dern near slapped — once, all in the same year.

Your Extension staff members are doing their best to give each child a wonderful experience. There’s no greater thrill than watching a smile beam from the face of a first-year member on their first blue ribbon or watching the tears flow from a 4-H member who is finishing their career. What you may not know, mom and dad, is that we Extension staff consider your kids our kids. We are cheering for them on the sidelines just like you.  We’ve watched them all these years, and we’ll watch them as they get older.

The teens I had when I first became a 4-H youth advisor are now 50. I still keep in touch, follow their children’s successes, and grieve when they deal with tragedies.

So before you get upset at the show this year, consider that we all want the same thing. We all want your child to be safe, to grow and learn, to make lifelong friends, and to be proud of who they’re becoming.

This is my wish for each of you this summer.